Wednesday, January 09, 2008

the cricket imbroglio

jan 9th, 2008

my views on cricket are definitely jaundiced, as i think the game sucks.

still, there is some good that came out of the recent fuss in australia.

1. as this blog has maintained all along, 80% of the money fueling cricket comes from india. by standing up to the white guys, this time the indian board rubbed their noses in it. this is good. an unusual show of backbone. this should be a precedent: because of indian buying power we should be able to influence lots of companies and countries.

2. a good example of india making friends and influencing people would be a demarche to malaysia saying that india will stop trading with the stupid little mohammedan fundamentalists right now. they have nothing india wants, but they do want indian brains for their white elephant cyberjaya and other grand ambitions. we import palm oil from them, thereby causing farmer suicides. and the bastards terrorize hindus there. of course, the UPA's reaction is to send anthony there to suck up to them. it was nice that immediately after anthony said malaysia is the kingpin for india's defense cooperation in SE Asia, the malay bigots said they want to send all indians home. actually i am suprised they didn't say send all hindu indians back to india, and welcome to mohammedan and christist indians. a couple of indian navy battle groups cruising into the straits of malacca on a 'friendship tour' would emphasize the point nicely, if only someone with some vertebrae were in charge in india, instead of flunkies.

3. back to cricket, india should now dictate terms. as this game is choreographed like WWF wrestling, some of the rules might be:

a. india wins 75% of its matches, we allow a few of the other miserable teams to win now and then
b. india is always world champion
c. whenever sachin tendulkar goes out to bat, the count starts with 100. sachin tendulkar will be the greatest batsman in all history for all time
d. if sachin tendulkar is bowled, it is a no-ball
e. if sachin tendulkar is caught, it is a dropped catch
f. sachin tendulkar does not have to field, only bat
g. sachin tendulkar is given out when sachin tendulkar decides he is out. this is like bhishma dying when he wants to

if all this is not done, india is going to take its money and go home. goodbye, million dollar ad revenue for steve waugh and pals.

4. the australians, being convicts, are slow to get the picture. but i am sure the british, always ready to genuflect to anybody with money, picked up on the deal very quickly. arent the ICC dominated by brits?

5. oh, a suggestion for the indian team and fans. prepare a bunch of racist insults to use on white guys, don't beat up on that black guy. i am not familiar with many, but here are a few i have heard: honky, redneck, white trash, trailer trash. these may be too america-specific, but there must be others (eg. convict) that apply to aussies.

(BTW, isn't it interesting that there are lots of racist words about non-whites, but very few about whites? good indication that the racists are whites, no?)


deutsche said...

how bout "nazi"

Uddharet said...

The government of India should also cooperate. Whenever a foreign team tours India, a few selected white players should be arrested by the police for having indulged in actions hurting the sentiments of one religious group or another. If the team is South Africa, the additional charge will be match fixing. The police should also probe the neutered umpires for match fixing.
The above suggestions apply also to non-white officials, particularly from Sri Lanka and West Indies, like Ranjan Madugalle, Roshan Mahanama, the umpire de Silva, Clive Lloyd, and Steve *ucknor.

habc said...

You forgot the main ones
1. Cricket was invented in ancient India along with all games ;)
2. ancient Indians invaded / migrated/touristed the ancient world and deposited the genes for excellence in cricket and all games ;)

karyakarta92 said...

The idea of arresting a few white players when they come to India is a good one. Many of the bloody Australians use tours to promote christism, visiting that dead ghoul's "Missionaries of charity" and displaying their excessive "compassion" for the miserable Hindoos. Steve Waugh, an otherwise excellent cricketer founded some kind of bloody christist "ashram" in Maharashtra with Sonia's man, Vilasrao Deshmukh gifting away a few hundred acres for the seditious mission. Therefore, hauling their asses to jail once in a while will not be harmful