why limeys dont eat with their hands

jan 18th, 2007

and why they use toilet paper, and why they like to take a bath, not a shower (well, on those rare occasions that they like to get close to water, that is. i believe it was a matter of christist theology that taking a bath was a bad thing. the angels who were hanging on to the dirt stuck on you would fall off if you took a bath, and we can't be that mean to angels, can we now?).

it's a religious issue among white europeans and americans to:
a. use utensils to eat
b. use toilet paper to wipe their bottoms
c. take a bath instead of a shower

and children are indoctrinated that these are the right things to do to the extent that they get physically sick at the idea of using their hands to eat etc.

and why, do you think?

the answer (drum roll): because of geography. simple. they have winter, when water is too precious to use for mundane things like:

a. washing your hands before eating, so instead you have a bucket with some hot water and you wash and recycle forks and knives in this
b. washing your bottom after going to the toilet, so instead you use stray leaves and grass to wipe yourself, which has evolved into toilet paper
c. pouring water over yourself to wash yourself, so heat one bunch of water and everybody bathes in it one after the other!

thus, these axioms are not laws of nature (given by ye olde yhwh), but simple adaptations to climate!

in india, we have had lots of running water, so we did not need to adopt these white guy techniques to survive.

isn't it amusing that these techniques are now considered the epitome of civilization?