Tuesday, December 20, 2005

eureka!

dec 20th

i believe i have finally understood it, says he, jumping out of his bathtub and running through the streets of syracuse naked. syracuse? upstate new york? bathtub? oops, never mind, i was caught up in somebody else's life there for an instant :-)

anyway, here goes the eureka moment, based strictly on christist texts, which are of course infallible, being the direct word of G*d.

when G*d (or Y*h*w*h) created the world on october 20th, 4004 BC, at 10am, he wanted to play a trick on people. so he created DNA evidence to make it look like the indians had migrated to the west circa 50,000 BC. whereas of course we all know that the chosen white aryan people (tall, fair and handsome and mostly male) thundered down the khyber pass in their horse drawn-chariots around 1,500 BC -- after the flood waters had receded and the land had dried -- to subdue indians. (we have this on authority of thapar mataji.)

this is why there is x-chromosome maternal DNA evidence out there about people from india migrating west and populating europe. it's a joke, get it, it's G*d just kiddin' around.

now why did G*d play this practical joke? why, because he's a fun kind of guy. and being G*d, he can do whatever he wants! he can even live without vowels!

G*d is known to play practical jokes. he also made all those dinosaur fossils that he made to appear like they were millions of years old, when of course we know that dinosaurs never existed. the world was created only in 4004 BC on october 20th and 10am.

and all those fools, G*d knew, would be debating this in the Year of Our Lord 2005 Anno Domini, and G*d/Y*h*w*h is watching this and rolling on the floor laughing until it hurts.

now isn't that a perfectly special explanation of all this absurd DNA stuff? witzel would love it, so would heitzman and steve farmer. not to mention pat robertson and godman nikon. and romila thapar and irfan habib and dn jha and rs sharma. the AIT is from G*d/Y*h*w*h himself!

4 comments:

daisies said...

tht ws s fnny!!!

bt wy dyh hv a plcmkr fr th vwls ??

nizhal yoddha said...

ah, the names of God --

strict semites wont say God, they'll say G-d or G*d for some reason

and yahweh is written YHWH, because aramaic, hebrew etc. are vowel poor, so you have to kind of fill in the blanks. for all you know, maybe the name is yihwuh, not yahweh :-)

this is similar to the story with the 78 houri, virgins, available to terrorists. a german prof claims that since it is just h*r in arabic, it is really not houri but hiri or something (not sure of the exact word), which means "white raisins"!

it's a funny situation. imagine the suicide bomber's surprise if instead of 78 virgins, he gets handed a package of 78 white raisins. for all the trouble he took to blow up both himself and a bunch of others. and then he gets raisins! not a juicy, non-menstruating, non-spitting, non-crying, sexually voracious virgin but juicy raisins!

one could almost feel sorry for him.

siva said...

white raisins - that is really funny. isn't it 72 houris and 28 young boys. just wondering

Saumitra Sen said...

That was as hilarious as sarcastic. The world is so biased against the East and particulary India that they dont take an Indian scholarship seriously, even when it is based on concrete facts, but they go on proclaiming some Biblical scholars as die-hard objective scholars bent on finding the Objective Truth, though they believe as passionately in Yahweh and his primordial fantasy.

Yours was a very good satire.

I hope you keep on delivering like this.

Meanwhile, please visit my blog.

Its URL is,

http://truthmustprevail.blogspot.com/