From: H
Good way to deal with these Human Right ACtivists
Subject: Human Rights Activists from Canada!!!dd
A lady Canadian libertarian wrote many letters to the government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. She received the following reply:
National Defence Headquarters
MGen George R. Pearkes Bldg,
15 NT, 101 Colonel By Drive
Ottawa , ON K1A 0K2 Canada
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.
Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa . You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself; we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defense, to be called 'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. for short.
In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommend in your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and religious beliefs' as described in your letter.
Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed and remember, we'll be watching.Good luck and God bless you.
Cordially,
Minister of National Defense
8 comments:
Awesome way of dealing with these "Sensible" human beings.
lets prepare a list of such folks from India, who will be very willing to host people like Afzal in their homes for "humane" treatment. Here is my list, please feel free to add, and lets send it to the prison in-charge folks to start dispatching the inmates in order:
1. Manmohan Singh
2. Lallu
3. Shabhna Azmi
4. Arundhati Roy
Anything connected with Canada is humourous.
Stephen Butler Leacock, my favourite humourist author (he was also a highly regarded economist), was a Canadian.
Also supporting my view, here is a definition from Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary":
“Man, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.”
Please add to list
3.teesta seetavald
4.shabnam hashmi
5."burkha Dutt
Corpse-selling racket in China
Did you know burials are banned in China? It has given rise to a corpse-selling racket: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/World/China_Corpse-selling_racket_busted/articleshow/3438086.cms
I suggest to Archbishop Raphael Cheenath and the Pope they should immediately approach the UN for sanctions against China, because the Chinese law prevents Christians from performing the proper religious rites for their dead. President Bush should be asked to send his army, navy and airforce into China to bring about a "change of regime" which is required, just like it was in Iraq. Sonia Ghandy and Mandu Moron Singh should also condemn China and the "Sangh Parivar" which is behind all these draconian laws in China.
Teesta Setalwad
Karan Thapar
Vir Sanghvi
You guys are kidding right? This can't be real. I cannot imagine any government acquiring the testicular fortitude to do this. But how great will it be if it really happened!
ha ha, we can add on many more 'eminent people' and so called 'intellectuals'.
Wish you all a Happy Ganesh Chaturthi.
You guys can't think big. India is not Canada, it is much bigger, so rather than just few individuals for this purpose, India has opened up whole states like West Bengal and Kerala for this purpsoe for the terrifiers to live in peace, to plan and multiply and as I hear it there is lot of competetion among other states to join the list.
Further addition:
All the 'secularists' of india.
That would include almost all the politicians.How else to ensure their survival sans insomnia & outrageous clout?
Witan,
That makes two of us. Stephen Leacock is one of my favourites too!
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