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After a day of endless media hysteria on TV channels - Rahul Gandhi's "larger role" is finally here. He will play a 'larger role' in a new saas-bahu serial to be produced by Balaji films.
The decision was announced after a day of hectic canvassing by the Congress leadership and UPA allies. While exact details were not revealed; unnamed sources said that Rahul could play the lead - a young husband caught between a nagging bride and a domineering mother.
Revealing that it was a reluctant decision on her part, Ekta Kapoor (Managing Director, Balaji) said she was finally swayed by the offer of a financial guarantee package from the Planning Commission.
“Earlier this week, I had told Rahul that his acting skills needed more tuning before he could play the lead. We offered him the adorable and mischievous brother-in-law – not an insubstantial part. A first in the history of the Indian family soap – I was even prepared to drop subtle hints that the character may be gay.”, she said.
However, it appears that Rahul did not agree, which led to a frenzied campaign to get him a bigger role.
“As you can see from the media hype – this mattered more to the Congress than Pranab Mukherjee’s elevation to President” said Ekta
“The pressure was unbelievable. Sagarika, Arnab, Prannoy, Barkha – they all grilled me on their news shows. They even had Akshay Kumar take a break from mourning his loss and give me a call, but I stood firm. I was told that one Dr. Rothschild then called the Planning Commission, after which Mr Montek Singh Ahluwalia agreed to underwrite the first 52 episodes - and voila ! I agreed to the deal”.
When contacted, Rahul said he salutes Ekta for her courage and integrity (pictured).
Ekta denied that she had compromised her artistic principles for money.
“It’s not like I am running Kingfisher Airlines you know – I have to think about my investors. People feel that saas-bahu serials are just folks all dolled-up and walking around, but this a tough gig.” she said
“Art is important, but there is serious money riding on this s**t”
Notice: The above is a work of human imagination, though it appears in the form of a news-story that reads disconcertingly like one of India's ELM papers. All conversations, thoughts, feelings etc. are fictionalized and any resemblance to persons living or dead is for artistic purpose only.
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