Tuesday, December 30, 2008

What happens when....

dec 30th, 2008

comment on an 'economist' article.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: U

Going by the history of Indian response to Pakistan sponsored mayhem in India so far,this is what will happen when Pakistan launches a nuclear strike on an Indian City:

Pakistani nuclear strike on an Indian city.

Indian P.M Says that this is a cowardly attack to destroy the universalistic, pluralistic secular fabric of India.

Indian Govt appoints commission to study if the big hole where a city was has been caused by a Nuclear weapon.

Pakistan claims "Non state" missiles carried the nuclear weapons to India.

India appeals to the international community to put pressure on Pakistan to hand over Dawood and Gen.Kayani.

Indian minister for minority affairs says it could be Hindu fundamentalists or CIA elements who detonated a nuclear weapon in an Indian City to destroy the secular pluralistic ethos of India.

Famous Indian actor says that he was so scared for the first time in his life that he went to bed with a AK-47 at Night just in case Pakistan launches another nuclear missile.

Famous TV anchor talks nostalgically about the good times at Japanese restaurant in a 5 star hotel which is no longer there now.

In the background the NSG is trying to reach a consensus on how to launch a counter attack.

Ten days have passed and the world praises India's restraint.

Getting really tough, India threatens to stop peace negotiations with Pakistan.

Booker prize winning author writes emotional article on how the evil and oppressive Indian state brought all this destruction upon itself. Says that Pakistani Generals are human too .

The Govt praises the resilience of the common man in India.
Dawood goes bankrupt as his main sources of income in India has been rendered radioactive for he next thousand years. 
Tries to take revenge on ISI for choosing the wrong city to attack.

The Indian Govt scores significant diplomatic victory with the US and EU condemning the nuclear attack by Pakistan and promises not to retaliate.

Artistic photo of young girl's face gently illuminated by the light from a candle she has lit for the million who have died in the Pakistani nuclear attack appears in the front page of news papers

Now, why wouldn't Pakistan launch a nuclear attack?



7 comments:

Anonymous said...

is this suppose to be a joke? if yes then it is very illtimed.

A nuclear attack on indian city would means all PC can go to hell and even this shikandi PM will have no choice but to listen to the voice of indian public. there will be riots and civil war if no action is taken. Pak will be hit back and wiped out.

san said...

You'd be surprised how powerful PC can be - maybe even strong enough to cover up the trauma of nuclear holocaust. Following a nuclear destruction of a city, Shikandi PM would first go to the world, demanding that it disarm Pakistan. After a flurry of ultimately fruitless discussions by the world, Shikandi PM would warn that India is "still keeping its options open". Then international media would babble about India-Pak sibling rivalry, etc. Then Shikandi PM would plead with Pakistan to disarm itself. Pak would announce it is arming all its weapons, in case India tried any retaliatory strike. World would vigorously warn India not to stoke further conflict. Shikandi PM would then declare that "India doesn't want war". Pak would then ask India to be open-minded and agree to talks. Shikandi PM would then say India will show maturity by practicing self-restraint, but does not want this to be mistaken as weakness. Etc, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseum.

Vinod_Sharma said...

Good one. Needs to be published everywhere...

Itsdifferent said...

Guys, its a shame that is registered here as history.
We can print this on a daily basis one sentence a day for 10 days after every attack.
Its a shame that we have become so numb, that we are expecting a nuclear attack, for our government to act. And then doubt some.
Look at Israel, to a question on why Israel is striking Hamas is, just to prevent future attacks. They have used this time so well, that there is a power vaccum in the US, and in the meanwhile our Shikandi PM is running to Iran and Saudi with evidence. What the f...?

Incognito said...

A near accurate listing of likely events by Nizhal Yoddha.

San,
You do a great disservice to Shikhandi. What did he do to deserve such insult!

The nation under MMS is treading the path of its father.

Wildcat said...

This would have been funny but it ain't. Because it seems too damned possible that that's exactly what would happen.

R.Sajan said...

In enlightened Kerala, LDF and UDF would announce Hartals on separate days to protest the Nuclear attack. KPCC President Romesh Chennithala and CPM Secretary Pinamayi Vijayan would condemn Fascist attempts by the BJP to misrepresent facts. Both would demand CBI investigation into the matter. They would also deplore attempts by communal Fascists to direct public anger against secular minorities.
The youth wings of the parties would immediately start collecting for Relief funds.